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I USED TO BELIEVE IN EVERYTHING, NOW I BELIEVE IN NOTHING.
I fell down the rabbit hole; I was that quintessential self-righteous hippy proselytizing the path of awakening, until I actually woke up. This is my story of growing up as a highly sensitive child in an areligious world, not needing religion but needing something to explain my intense emotional response to the unseen, and I found that something in the spiritual cult of the New Age. I spent my teens in a disconnected haze, my twenties consolidating my fervent beliefs in all things alternative to the mainstream, and my thirties annihilating the house of cards that I had propt my delicate psyche upon. Now nearing my forties, after a series of destabilizing nervous breakdowns, I am finally walking in this world with both feet on the ground. My story is ultimately about finding a way to live a soulful life as a highly sensitive person that is firmly rooted in reality, because the world needs us to live in our shared reality. Join me as I navigate this post new-age world with sanity clearly intact in my mind and magic still alive in my heart. Why should you care about my beliefs and breakdowns? Because believing in invisible demons prevents us from fighting the real ones. This book speaks to delusion and denial, its origins, effects and aftershocks.
“If there is any advantage to going through a mental crisis of the worst kind, it is that - on the other side of it - we will have ended up choosing life rather than merely assuming it to be the unremarkable norm.”
- Alain de Botton, A Therapeutic Journey

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Suspended Belief: Memoirs of a New Age Apostate

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